My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
