My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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