he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
