I'm passing your future prison.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
