you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
