Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Randomize
