I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
