You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
