He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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