This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize
