You really coming over, don't trick.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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