ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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