Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
fuck your aforementioned shoe
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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