Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
