i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
