she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
