I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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