Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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