I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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