Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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