His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
