I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
