what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
