$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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