K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Actions speak louder than pants.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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