But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
