I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
