For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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