is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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