I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
