Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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