I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
