I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I party with great urgency now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
