I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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