I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
