3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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