she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
