Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
