doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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