What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
