If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Randomize
