my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize