are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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