If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
