I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
