you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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