My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
