East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
