the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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