yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
bring money and cleavage
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
