Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think I died a long time ago.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
