Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
