I want to have your abortion
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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