I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
